On turning 81.

When I Come to Be Old

Not to marry a young Woman.
Not to keep young Company unless they reely desire it.
Not to be peevish or morose, or suspicious.
Not to scorn present Ways, or Wits, or Fashions, or Men, or
War, &c.
Not to be fond of Children, or let them come near me hardly.
Not to tell the same story over and over to the same People.
Not to be covetous.

Not to neglect decency, or cleenlyness, for fear of falling
into Nastyness.
Not to be over severe with young People, but give Allowances for
their youthfull follyes and weaknesses.
Not to be influenced by, or give ear to knavish tatling servants,
or others.
Not to be too free of advise, nor trouble any but those that
desire it.
To desire some good Friends to inform me wch of these
Resolutions I break, or neglect, and wherein; and reform
accordingly.
Not to talk much, nor of my self.
Not to boast of my former beauty, or strength, or favor with
Ladyes, &c.
Not to hearken to Flatteryes, nor conceive I can be beloved
by a young woman, et eos qui hereditatem captant, odisse
ac vitare.
*
Not to be positive or opiniative.
Not to sett up for observing all these Rules; for fear I should
    observe none.

5 thoughts on “On turning 81.

  1. “I have been assured by a very knowing American of my acquaintance in London, that a young healthy child well nursed is at a year old a most delicious, nourishing, and wholesome food, whether stewed, roasted, baked, or boiled; and I make no doubt that it will equally serve in a fricassee, or a ragout.” These lines from Jonathan Swift’s Modest Proposal for Preventing the Children of Poor People from Being a Burthen to Their Parents or Country, and for Making Them Beneficial to the Publick of 1729 must be among the most startling in the history of literature.

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